Jokes can be nasty and hurt us fat people, here are some of the most common jokes people say about me, some of them are really funny though.

Martins so fat , he makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Martins so fat , when he walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Martins so fat , the last time he saw 90210 was on the scales

Martins so fat , when he steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Martins so fat , when he steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock

Martins so fat ,  when he goes to a restaurant he gets and estimate

Martins so fat , at a restaurant when they give her the menu he replies " yes Please"

Martins so fat , when he went powerboat racing and Greenpeace tried to drag him back in the water.

Martins so fat , when he went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across the river mersey.

Martins so fat , when he sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Martins so fat , when he tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Martins so fat , he makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Martins so fat , he makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Martins so fat , when he wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Martins so fat , Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make him a pair of shoes.

Martins so fat , when he goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Martins so fat , he can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Martins so fat , that he climbed Mt. Everest with one step.

Martins so fat ,  I had to take a train and two busses just to get on his good side.

Martins so fat ,when he hauls ass, he has to make two trips.

Martins so fat , he's 36-24-36... but that's his forearm, neck, and thigh!

Martins so fat , they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get him through.

Martins so fat , he can lay down and stand up and his height doesn't change.

Martins so fat , the horse on his Polo shirt is real.

Martins so fat , when he runs he makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Martins so fat , his belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Martins so fat , all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Martin"

Martins so fat , when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Martins so fat , instead of wide leg jeans, he wears wide load.

Martins so fat , when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Martins so fat ,when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" he got back in bed.

Martins so fat , when he was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave him 50 years to live.

Martins so fat , he was born with a silver shovel in his mouth.

Martins so fat , he's got smaller fat men orbiting around him.

Martins so fat , a picture of him fell off the wall!

Martins so fat , his picture takes two frames.

Martins so fat , his cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.